The beautiful room can be empty

 

Oh, my, gooooood....

Did you watch the Close-uo Gendai on NHK the other day ?

One of their topics was about unmarried people of age under 35 in Japan. The survey was held this year and they found out the surprising numbers in there.

About 30% of men and 24% of women are still unmarried not including, of course, people under 20. This was rather a predicted fact, maybe, but look at this numbers ;

unmarried men : 25 to 29 : 79%, 30 to 34 : 48%,

unmarried women : 25 to 29 : 60%, 30 to 34 : 30%

Even the concept of marriageable age is getting higher or none any more, this is still shocking to me. Despite the other survey by Yomiuri, it seems that many of them are not really happily unmarried in my impression from the topic. They have some reasons to stay unmarried, and that's the subject in the NHK program.

Year by year, the birthrate is decreasing in Japan. This survey may show the reason, too. Many of those singles want to marry, but they say they can't.

The main reason from the point of view of single women, it's hard to meet someone whose income is more than 4 million yen a year. Considering the income of unmarried, 75% of the men of the age group 25 to 34 earn less than 4 million. No need to say 80% of those women earn less.

In current economical situation in Japan, many women feel insecure about their lives without enough income, now and especially in future, so they try to sort out the men who do not meet this condition from their candidates list.

30% of unmarried men are now not full employee, and 50% of those women, too. This is telling more than half of the people under 35 are actually not full-employee.　It makes them more difficult to make enough money to marry and raise children.On the other hand, are those men so desperate for marriage?
Well, yes and no.

Half of them are desperately trying to make more money and meet someone. Other half of them are sort of happy being single and living with parents, at least it appears so because they don't go out at night and adore AKB girls for fantasizing. This is the second reason.

More than 75% of unmarried men are living with parents in their house instead of being independent somewhere else, and 80% of the women, too. There are less spending, less housework, and less loneliness than when living alone. This idea seems to be spreading globally now.

We used to tease Italian friends for their living with mom even they were already grownups, but now it's often seen in U.S.A., too, the country of independence. They say they can't afford to keep their own house, household, education for children, and so on, since the Subprime crisis. Well blamed on the economy, though their marriage ratio is not so low as Japanese yet.

For those who want to marry but can't because of husbands' salary, I still believe marriage and money can be separated if you really love someone. There wouldn't be any humble families if you can't get married without financial secureness. Many families are living up on less income and raising children even they always complain that they want more income to eat and buy things.
Back to the people looking for a man with 4 million a year, the financial condition is not solid as before any more. You may encounter a lay off at any time when your company goes bankruptcy or M&A, as it was for Japan Airlines which was believed as one of the most desired enterprise to work for by students and new graduates.

You can marry the guy who doesn't make 4 million. You just may not be able to rely on your husband forever, so you may want to work as well or you may even find a nicer job than his, and make 4 million instead. In that case why don't you feed him, and your husband will take care of your house.

You can have children even if you do not make 4 million. You just won't be able to rely on those expensive private school to educate your kids. I heard that many parents are against the idea of their daughters choosing guys who make less than 4 million a year. I wonder if they know it looks they are the same as daily farmers who raise cows and try to sell them as high price as possible. Then those parties, held by marriage consultants, start looking as if they were the very fancy escort clubs negotiating their prices.

Marrying with 4 million a year is just a fantasy. It doesn't promise you anything in future unless you are seriously committed to your husband's work and yourself. Having kids with 4 million a year is never enough for whom desires more as they get, and probably their kids will grow up with wanting more and more...

If you find someone you feel love, however, it promises you at least one thing or two. The future with someone you care for, who may be always on your side from others, and the possibility of joy of having nice kids and holding grandchildren. So stop calculating your future with only those fancy numbers and try to meet someone. Someone you feel you can sacrifice your housewife dreams, who may even turn out quite a catch unexpectedly. If not, there will be always the door open to the outside. So don't throw away the possibility to meet someone from the start just because of his income.

For those who is happily unmarried, though I still believe it's nice to have a partner in life, I have nothing to say to them because hopefully I believe they have guts to be alone and friends to share good times with in future, otherwise, they might get too keen on getting rid of what they feel it's tiresome from their life and live being surrounded by only what they like.
In metaphorical saying, they may end up with the beautiful room which is empty and cold.